Wednesday, July 3, 2013


hmmmm .... a flurry of thoughts in my mind... most of them blurry subconscious images and feelings... its almost like there is a parallel universe inside me which is living a fuller more energetic life. I need to quiten down to hear the noises inside. What a racket! ... cacophonic and confused ... guess these guys will find their air time later tonight in my dreams when they get to play fierce creatures or a lonely road or Amitabh Bacchan morphing into my mum! .... Freud earned his living I guess, from trying to comprehend this, like a snake charmer who tries with his music to understand the unpredictable ways of a serpent... wonder if any charmer has managed it successfully.

I heard from someone that by paying close attention to this backstage activity we can actually get to know the real us! ... whoo! scary eh? ... Who knows what we might end up finding! .. maybe a fearful cowardly rabbit running from its predator (a leader like person we might know from work!) , or a vengeful Hitleress in the guise of a kind social worker in real life, or even a creative genius posing as a straight jacketed accountant fending for his family and living a proper life.... Who knows! Who WANTS to know? Hmm ..I don't know.

I think there is countless times more to a person than what meets our eye... and may be a zillion times more to us that what meets our own eyes... I have come to believe that humans are just amoeba.... they morph into people of a certain type based on their circumstances and many other things .... and they keep morphing till the end. Infact if someone comes up to me and asks me reproachfully about something i said or did even a year back , I'm tempted to say "Oops...wrong number.. That wasn't me" ... Really! ... how many people that we have met feel they're exactly the same person as they were years ago? ... no one... even if someone does claim so, I would say he is married to an illusion of what he thinks he is and probably wants himself to be.. and hes being loyal to his marriage. This is one time when actually disloyalty might pay.

I have come to believe that it is this very nature of man that makes him so resilient.. so capable and so powerful. Sad that this resilience isn't exploited unless called upon by some extreme event or calamity... And then he gives another birth and feels new feels wise. And then he/she becomes headlines, makes news and becomes your favorite spiritual leader next door. The problem is that when such a thing happens its easy to think that thats the end.... that one has reached eternity and salvation. From this misconception comes the conviction that wise men you know and revere, harness as a powerful means to hold people and 'guide' them to a better life. A conviction so strong that its stagnant, like a rock , not absorbing futher change and further experiences and therefore futher wisdom ... As they say in the movie 'incredibles'... One has to be a 'learning robot'

So whats the big deal about this anyway.. Why change? Why learn? Why explore?. Sometimes I'm tempted to be macro and think 'We're all going to live and die like everyone else. Even a Gandhi will be forgotten ... its a matter of time. So whats this huge hue and cry about learning, changing and metamorphosising?" Simple .. Because its fun!... Isn't it a bit mundane to do and live as expected of you? To marry, have kids, have a job , get promoted and retire? these aren't unimportant ... But I have a hunch these may not be enough. I an almost see myself at 80 saying to myself "Sigh so all these years for just the mundane?.. What a waste of a life.. Did i Enjoy? ... hmmm yeah kinda, Life was 'decent', good, I guess lived and enjoyed as much as the average person' ...But who wouldn't want more? There is only one that seems to give me pleasure and meaning beyond everything else i know , without fail... knowlege! ....discovery, learning, exploring and finding. Something that I can vaguely see taking me through to old age, sickness and probably beyond. oops i better watch out! Have I stagnated like a rock with this conclusion, probably refusing to believe alternate theories? Probably. So lemme go back and throw all my beliefs out of the window and see if there is something on the other side of my thoughts... maybe my night time characters will have an answer. :)

No comments:

Post a Comment